Thursday, June 18, 2009

Not only did that sister sexually abuse me. She also beat the tar out of me and my other sister. She would sit on top of you and just beat on you. I so hated her. My parents kept leaving me home alone with her. I could not figure out why. She never got in trouble for hitting us.When I finally got up the courage to tell my mom she did not do anything about it. She told me what was she suppose to do about that. Can you imagine tell your little girl that. I guess she liked my older sister better then me. I had no protection. The sister right above me knew but did nothing to help either. I never told my dad, though I doubt he would have done anything either. Even though I know he loved me. He always turned the cheek and did not want to disrupt anything. His philosophy was to act like everything was great. I always wonder why my mom the women who gave birth to me did nothing. Why she accepted the abuse. I have had to learn that I will never know the answer to these questions. That for a time was hard to deal with and at rare times I still wonder why but I have had to let go of that question which was eating me up. Believe me my friends that was not easy. I had to decide to let the pain of that question control me or I could let it go and bring peace to my life. I have come to terms with it but the memories will always be there but they will no longer control me. I'm stronger then the pain. Of course all things we go through in life helps create who we are today. It is your choice on how you deal with them. Some go to drugs, sex and live in pain their who life. I consider myself lucky that God made me strong enough to survive on my own.

My sister would pick on you and call you fat and all other sorts of names. Funny thing is now she weighs between 250 and 300 lbs. and I weigh 135 to 140. Well one thing came back and bit her in the butt.

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