Saturday, April 17, 2010

Telling the Parents

Being a teen is hard enough...being a teen who is pregnant is even harder...telling your parents, the expectant father and his family is like a nightmare with a reality spin to it.

I remember that day all too well. The expectant father (my X) took me to the doctors the day I found out I was pregnant but really wasn't the doctor just made a small error. He was with me at doctors not because he cared but he was due in court and needed a ride. He was dealing with a DWI. Anyway, after we got the news on that cool Friday morning in October. I went to school and he went to work saying we would talk after he got out of work. Needless to say the X never came home after work. He went on his daily drinking binge and I was left to deal with the problem silently by myself. I remember walking around crying trying to figure out what to do when I ran into my neighbor guy...he gave me his view point on why guys act the way they do. His words helped me to get through the night. Thanks Dan...

Telling my mom and dad. My dad didn't say much just asked me what I wanted to do. My mom wanted me to get married as it was the only option. She said I was scum. I received no support from her or my family unless you count negative comments as support. My brother called me a tit teaser and told me I disgraced my family. My oldest sister told me it was unfair that I got to keep my child and she had to give hers up. (She got pregnant in college)Oh, yeah life was good.

The X's family thought I trapped their prize winning son/grandson into marriage. His dad came over and tried to be a father but it was useless because he had been out of his life for a couple of years.

Friends didn't know what to say or do to help. I was left feeling scared and lonely, a very dark time for me. I got through it but I would have loved to have someone around who cared and gave me support.

Not once did anyone offer suggestions, advice, or a kind word. Just ridicule and quick to point out comments about how I ruined my life, the X's life. Like he had nothing to do with it? If you were keeping score: support 0 negativity 100...I swore from that time on that if this happened to my kids I would be there for them.

If you are a parent reading this....hearing that your child is pregnant is not what you or anyone else wants to hear. Being supportive and kind is the best thing that you can do for your child. I have told my kids since they were young that if they ever got pregnant they did not have to get married and that they have options, and I would always be there for them.

If you’re a teen reading this than I urge you to find that one or more support person whether it is teacher, family friend, uncle, aunt, pastor anyone who will be your support system. You will need it. Don't do what I did and go through it alone. It is not a fun place to be all by yourself thinking the world is against you. Just remember you are not the first person this has happened to nor will you be the last.

The ironic thing about this whole situation is that I really wasn't pregnant. The doctor made a small(really astronomically huge) mistake which changed my life forever without her mistake I would of never had NaTasha nor any of the other 6 kids so I'm sure they are happy for the Dr's mistake.


Child help National Child Abuse Hotline 1-800-4-A-CHILD
National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1−800−799−SAFE (7233) or TTY 1−800−787−3224.